A Joke I Like

Every Friday afternoon, a mathematician goes down to the bar, sits in the second-to-last seat, turns to the last seat, which is empty, and asks a girl who isn’t there if he can buy her a drink.

The bartender, who is used to weird university types, always shrugs but keeps quiet. But when Valentine’s Day arrives, and the mathematician makes a particularly heart-wrenching plea into empty space, curiosity gets the better of the bartender, and he says, “I apologize for my stupid questions, but surely you know there is NEVER a woman sitting in that last stool. Why do you persist in asking out empty space?”

The mathematician replies, “Well, according to quantum physics, empty space is never truly empty. Virtual particles come into existence and vanish all the time. You never know when the proper wave function will collapse and a girl might suddenly appear there.”

The bartender raises his eyebrows. “Really? Interesting. But couldn’t you just ask one of the girls who comes here every Friday if you could buy HER a drink? Never know… she might say ‘Yes’.”

The mathematician laughs. “Yeah, right – like that’s gonna happen!”

Don't Check Your Luggage On Frontier Airlines or Clean Fish In Your Room At The Drake Motel

A week or so ago I flew up to Minneapolis, Minnesota to do my hypnosis show for a high school post prom lock-in in a little town called Blackduck. The show went well. The parents were happy, the students were happy and I was happy.

I should say that I was happy except with Frontier Airlines.

I carry only one bag which I usually check because I pack my remote music cueing device which looks odd to the TSA and usually delays me getting through security. So, I get to the Frontier auto check-in kiosk and when I touch the screen to check my ONE bag, I get charged $15.00!

Apparently Frontier would rather delay flights while people block the aisle as they stuff their bags into the overhead bins than do things in a more efficient way. I suppose, though, that if you run a company that lost 161 million dollars in three months, common sense isn’t your strong point.

Frontier Airlines slogan is “A Whole Different Animal.” Maybe the Different Animal they’re referring to is the jackass who instituted the “excess baggage” rule?

On the other hand, the Drake Motel, a little Mom and Pop motor inn up in Blackduck, has a rule against cleaning and storing fish, bear, deer or any other dead animals in your room. Luckily they provide a heated cleaning room and a freezer for storage. At no extra charge. Maybe the folks who run the Drake should be running Frontier.



Next time I fly Frontier I may decide to save $15.00 and carry on my ONE bag, containing my remote music cueing device and, just for grins… a few dead fish.

p.s. I’m flying up to Denver at the end of May. On Southwest. The ticket price was the same and I can check my bag for FREE!